Happiness: one of the most sought-after things in this world, yet no one has seemed to crack the code on how to obtain it for more than what feels like just a moment. Everyone on this earth, whether they’ll admit it or not, desires a happy life. The qualifications of a happy life obviously vary from person to person, but there are some general key metrics that objectively dictate a “happy life.”
People (myself included) will always say things like, “Once I get this, I’ll be happy,” or “Once this happens, everything will finally feel right.” Then we obtain what we once thought would make us happy. It feels good for a moment, but that original happiness always seems to fade away. A new desire pops up, and the cycle starts all over again. No matter how much we achieve, it never seems to result in long-term happiness.
Due to this cycle of constantly chasing happiness and always ending up unsatisfied and let down in the end, we need to look at happiness differently. Chasing happiness is not the answer. No one in the history of humanity has ever reached the point where they’re “happy forever.” It’s simply impossible. So instead of aiming for happiness, what we need to be shooting for is fulfillment.
Fulfillment is 100% superior to happiness because it’s not just an emotion that comes and goes — it’s something you can actually build. If you pay attention, people who say they’re “happy” and fulfilled with their life all have three main areas in a good place. I like to call this phenomenon “The Triangle of Fulfillment.” The triangle contains these three principles:
- Health and Fitness
- Relationships
- Career / Purpose
When these three areas of your life are strong and being pursued, life genuinely feels good. Even when one of these areas is lacking, you feel it. Fulfillment isn’t about getting everything perfect — it’s about building a strong “triangle.”
These three areas of life aren’t just random. They cover the main parts of our lives that actually dictate our levels of fulfillment. If even one of these aspects is off, it throws everything else out of balance. But when you’re pursuing all three, you don’t have to chase “happiness” — it will naturally show up on its own.
Relationships
Despite what you’ll hear online about “distancing yourself to grow,” humans are not supposed to be alone. We’re tribal creatures who desire a sense of community. The quality of our relationships has a huge impact on our lives. This doesn’t just mean having a girlfriend or being surrounded by people at a party. It means having real connection and support from people you can be yourself around.
When it comes to relationships, focus more on quality than quantity. Just like the famous saying goes, “Would you rather have four quarters or 100 pennies?” I’ll take my four quarters. When your relationships are real and healthy, you feel understood, valued, and connected. When they’re fake, life feels very lonely and heavy — even if everything else in your life is going right. You can have millions of dollars and a killer physique, but if you’re disconnected in your relationships, your mental state will still tank.
Health and Fitness
Your body controls a lot more of your mental and emotional well-being than we realize. When we eat junk and never exercise, our brains aren’t operating anywhere near full potential. Not to mention, the psychological side effects that come with being out of shape are extremely negative as well. If you’re out of shape and not taking care of your body, you’re going to feel more sluggish, stressed, less confident, and ultimately subpar.
Health and fitness isn’t about having shredded abs or becoming a bodybuilder. It’s about having good energy, being confident, practicing discipline, and walking around in a body you’re proud of. When you take care of your body, you think clearer, your mood improves, and you feel like you’re actually in control of your life. Even small habits like lifting weights, going for walks, and eating healthier can, over time, completely change the way you think and feel for the better.
But when health and fitness are ignored, it eventually catches up to you. Neglecting this leads to low energy, low confidence, brain fog, and an unstable mood. All of this makes it harder to function optimally and live your best life. You can’t be fully fulfilled in a body that feels sluggish and neglected. Taking care of your body is one of the biggest psychological and physical hacks there is.
Career (Purpose)
Humans need a sense of direction. You don’t need your “dream job” or to change the world, but you do need a reason to wake up and get out of bed every morning. You need a career path, project, mission, or goal that challenges you and forces you to grow as an individual. This gives value to yourself and others, which gives you a sense of identity. Identity is absolutely essential for fulfillment. Without a solid identity, we get lost and open the gates for depression to creep in.
When we feel like we’re working toward something meaningful, life feels like it has momentum. There’s purpose, direction, a future to work toward. But when your work feels pointless or mundane, and you’re stuck doing something you hate, it creates a slow burnout effect. You start to feel like you’re just existing — like a corpse with no soul. Instead of existing, we need to implement something into our lives that makes us feel like we’re living. A lack of direction isn’t just frustrating — it can result in serious depression, even if everything looks fine on the outside.
Having a purpose brings fulfillment through building, progressing, and growing. Without purpose, your days start to blend together, and life quickly loses its meaning.
Happiness isn’t something we can go out and find. It’s something we create by focusing on the right things. The Triangle of Fulfillment gives you fulfillment — and fulfillment gives you the feeling.
I believe in you all. I hope you enjoyed it.
YZ